Having a will, medical directive, and end of life wishes documented is a GIFT to your loved ones. Not a white flag of surrender. 

When I was preparing for surgery my husband and I were not married. I was very confident it would go well, I would be fine. However, I wanted to check more of the legal boxes to make sure there was no confusion about my wishes. Technically, my husband had no say in how things went if I was not able to speak for myself. My parents would have a say by default and they were not going to be here. As it happened, I could assign that responsibility to my husband before my procedure so I did not need a separate power of attorney for that. These are all things that are better thought about sooner rather than later.

As someone who had a catastrophic car accident, you never know what may happen at any time. If we think about these things and make our wishes known we take the second guessing out of the hands of those we may leave behind.

When my father in law was diagnosed with liver cancer during COVID, my husband was able to be there for several weeks helping out as they navigated the options. I asked if they had pre-paid funeral services. They did, however, they had not made the selections or finalized the bulk of the plans. I suggested he ask about them doing that while he was there. This was the biggest blessing. My father in law chose all the things he wanted and contacted the friends he wanted to be the pallbearers and it was a wonderful opportunity for him to reconnect with some people he had not seen in some time. When he passed 2 months later there were no decisions to be made. Everyone showed up and was able to be in the grieving process without having to tend to a bunch of tasks they may not have been in a head space to manage.

I remember as we were standing in the funeral home before heading to the church my mother in law said to me, I am so happy he made the plans. I wouldn’t have chosen what he chose and now I know it is exactly what he wanted.

Having a will, medical directive, and end of life wishes documented is a GIFT to your loved ones. Not a white flag of surrender. Such a gift of peace to not second guess a thing, especially in such a challenging time.

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