A cancer diagnosis may drive us to control what we can control. Whatever we can control, how much we exercise, when we go to work, what we expect from people, etc.

After my divorce, I was pretty clear with people, if you couldn’t commit to showing up for the plans we were making, don’t make them. I was over broken promises and I needed to be around people who showed up when they said they would. Making my expectations very clear was my way of protecting myself from more disappointment. A little control over my environment.

In a lot of ways, getting cancer is largely out of our control. Yes, there may be circumstances or choices that make it more likely, but no one sets out to live their life to get a cancer diagnosis. They just don’t. 

So when it happens we tend to control what we can control. Showing up for pilates twice a week, even though you are very sick. Going into work after chemo treatment because you feel better today than you will tomorrow. Going back to work 11 days after surgery because you can.

These are all things I have known people to do, including myself. It might look weird to other people. It doesn’t matter.

Did you do something during treatment, because you could, that others may have thought strange?

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