Age, race, physical size, and many other factors that have little to do with cancer, prevent us from being heard and properly diagnosed in a timely manner.

Let’s face it, this is true for way more than a cancer diagnosis. We are not always seen or heard. Sometimes we feel dismissed. Sometimes doctors or even salespeople speak to our significant other even though they are discussing a condition or purchase where the choices are ours not someone else’s.

I was buying a car a long while back. I thought I was going to get a Jetta. I had done my research and thought I was going in as a formality to test drive and leave with a new car. The salesman kept talking to my then boyfriend. Who in response each time this happened said “You better talk to her; she is the one with the check book.” Then the salesman proceeded to tell me I did not want what I wanted. When I asked to drive the new model year jetta, he brought out last year’s model passat. Ummmmm WTF?

He called me a week later, the only salesman I saw that day to follow up with me and I visited four different dealerships. Ordinarily this would have been appreciated except he didn’t talk to me or listen to what I wanted when I was in front of him, I wasn’t really sure why he was following up. He asked if I had made a decision. I told him, I had not. However, I would definitely not be buying the car from him. He asked why. I said I was ready to buy the car from you, but you argued with me about what I wanted and then tried to sell me a different model you needed to sell, not what I wanted to buy.

Being kind, yet honest is another way to advocate for yourself. Then make it clear they can talk to you or you can go elsewhere.

I am curious what you would have done if you did your research and went to buy a car and were told you wanted something different?

If you are discussing surgical approaches with a doctor and cannot get answers to your questions why wouldn’t you get a second opinion?

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